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About PreciousScars.org

By Julia Engelhorn, Founder

If you’re reading this, it means that you or someone close to you has lost, or are fearful of losing, a loved one to domestic violence. This site was created especially for you – people affected by heinous, unimaginable crime. It is for those who, perhaps like you, see no way forward and no light at the end of the tunnel. And it is for those who, for the sake of the victims, must stay strong and do all they can to comprehend the incomprehensible. Our thoughts and prayers are with each and every one of you.

 

In 2017, the unimaginable happened to me. My three-year-old twins, pictured below, were killed by their father, my ex-husband. He was caught but escaped unpunished after taking his own life whilst awaiting trial. 

 

Unlike him, my family had no escape. In the days, weeks, months and years that followed, I struggled to make sense of what had happened and to hold it together for the sake of my third child, who was left unharmed. Like most victims of violent crime, I had no experience of the police or of the criminal justice system, and no experience of dealing with overpowering grief and the emotional and physical toil it takes.

 

During my own healing journey, I turned to the internet for help but was overwhelmed with the volume of information and conflicting advice. I launched this website to help others who could be feeling the same way. If it helps just one person – maybe you or someone you know – then it will have been worth it.

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Our Mission

Our mission is to cultivate a nurturing and understanding community to serve as a lifeline for those at risk of violent crime or grappling with the loss of a child to violence. In the face of unimaginable pain and overwhelming grief, we hope to alleviate, in some small way, their immediate distress and uncertainty by providing informative free advice and practical guidance from those with lived experience. More broadly, our aim is to provide comfort and encouragement with a view of empowering victims’ families to navigate grief with resilience.

With the support of those who share our vision, we hope to expand our remit and, perhaps in time, offer one-to-one telephone and in-person support. Until then, we will do everything we reasonably can to ensure that no parent who has lost a child, or is fearful of losing a child, walks alone.

Using this Website Safely

If you suspect a violent partner may be monitoring your online activity, we strongly encourage you to take steps to delete your internet history regularly, including after visiting PreciousScars.org. Clearing your browsing history, cache, and cookies can help keep you safe. For detailed instructions on how to do this on various browsers and devices, see “Shield Your Internet History: How to Clear Your Cache on Any Browser“, a very helpful how-to guide from PC Magazine.

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